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JOKE OF THE DAY
09-28-2014, 07:23 PM
Post: #11
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
[Image: bay.jpg]
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06-13-2018, 06:39 AM
Post: #12
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
Thanks for making a joke thread and making our day Smile
Love the jokes and will keep checking to read more jokes in future so keep posting jokes!

Car Service Adelaide
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07-07-2018, 02:06 PM (This post was last modified: 07-07-2018 02:11 PM by PaulSA.)
Post: #13
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
Loneliness.......!
>>
>>
>>I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I
>>Thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone
>>booths
>>when you're calling for a cab. I grabbed a card on my way in. It
>>was an
>>ad for a girl calling herself Veronique, a lovely girl, bending
>>over in
>>the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places,
>>beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful Legs. You know the kind. So
>>I'm
>>in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.
>>
>>"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded s*xy.
>>
>>"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my
>>room
>>And give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in
>>town
>>all
>>Alone and what I really want is s*x. I want it hard, I want it hot,
>>and
>>I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it,
>>we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your
>>bag
>>of tricks
>>We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover
>>me
>>in
>>Chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how
>>does
>>that sound?"
>>
>>She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need
>>to
>>Press 9."

A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and
raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention.

She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the
bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink."

She gets her drink and goes away.

Later she returns and raises her arm again. The drunk sees her
and yells to the bartender, "Get the ballerina another drink."
She gets her drink and goes away again.

The bartender asks the drunk how he knows that she is a ballerina
given that she is a stranger and has never been in the bar before.

The drunk replies, "She's got to be a ballerina if she can lift
her leg that high."
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07-08-2018, 06:25 PM
Post: #14
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
hahahaha!!
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03-12-2019, 09:47 PM
Post: #15
JOKE OF THE DAY
Where Are My Glasses?

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with mytime. “Like me sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing,” I asked.

My "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and join something.

I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.

I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club. She replied, "Mother, are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?”

I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.

She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses? This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club,not a Parachute Club.”

I calmly replied, "Oh my, I think I'm in real trouble then, because I signed up for five jumps a week!!”

The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.

Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be real fun.

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Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall, Torque is how far you take the wall with youWink
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