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Jokes
02-03-2012, 05:08 PM
Post: #11
Re: Jokes
Ever felt like you're going in circles ?


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02-17-2012, 09:25 PM
Post: #12
Lionnnss
John Plumtree asked John Mitchell after the 2011 final—”John, I thought I had the journey planned, how did you beat me?”
“Pretty simple,” replied Mitchell, “I picked my players for their intelligence and asked them just one question.”
“That simple?” said Plumtree. “Yep,”replied Mitchell, “pick one of my squad and see how he does.”
Plumtree thought for a while then nominated Elton Jantjies. Mitchell called him over and asked him, “Who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?” “Ag maklik man” says Elton, “Dis ek!!!.”
“Good on yer, Elton,” said Mitche, and Plumtree was very impressed. He returned to the hotel and wondered about the intelligence of his team. He called in Bismark and asked him, “Who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
Bismark thought and thought and couldn’t come up with the answer. “Can I think about it a bit more, Coach?—I’ll give you an answer tomorrow.”
“Of course,” said Plumtrtee, “you’ve got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer.”
Bismark went away, thinking as hard as he could, and then he called in his team-mates. Keegan Daniel thought it might be his grandpa but wasn’t sure. JP Pietersen was certain that it couldn’t be anyone. Lwazi Mvovo refused to answer in case he was sacked for not knowing.
Oupa Terblanche thought it would be an uncle in Pofadder who had been adopted as a child. Pat Lambie went into the foetal position. The rest of the team wouldn’t even hazard a guess. Twenty hours later, Bismark was very worried that he still had no answer with only four hours to go. Eventually Bismark thought, “I know, I’ll ring Naas Botha—he’s bloody smart, he’ll know the answer.”
He phoned Botha. “Naas, tell me—who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
“Very simple,” said Naas, “It’s me.”
“Of course,” said Bismark and rang Plumtree. “Coach, I’ve got the answer—it’s Naas Botha!”
“No, you idiot,” said Coetzee, “It’s Elton Jantjies!!!.”
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02-17-2012, 10:51 PM
Post: #13
Jokes
Lmao


Izan

You have the Bus, use it, enjoy nature!
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02-18-2012, 08:37 AM
Post: #14
Re: Jokes
Now that the Bulls play in pink:


At the end of the match the credits will show whose hair was done by whom i.e. “Wynand Olivier se hare word deur Christelle geborg!” and who sponsored their make-up!

1. One lucky season ticket holder will win a free make-over during half time of each match
2. Fans will no longer be allowed to braai before kick-off, instead fondue stations will be available for snacks
3. The beer tent will no longer sell beer, but a wide variety of fruity drinks will be available
4. The dancing girls will be replaced by a French poodle parade
5. The man of the match will not receive a trophy, but rather a subscription to House and Home magazine
6. The yellow card area will not be referred to as the sin bin, but will now be known as the temper tantrum tank
7. The stadium will change from the Bull-Ring to the Fairy Garden
8. The new mascot will be Lady the French Poodle
9. A booth will be provided to exchange those dangerous horned helmets for the more appropriate silk scarf
10. Liefling will still be the unofficial song...


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02-18-2012, 08:44 AM
Post: #15
Re: Jokes
Why is this lion laughing???

[attachment=1]


[attachment=0]

PIENK BULLE Whahahahahahahahahaha


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"Allways respect your environment, leave only your tracks and take only your memories"
1989 Syncro Caravelle 2.1 - BosBus
1998 Mercedes Benz C230 Kompressor Sport - PlatKar
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02-23-2012, 10:06 PM
Post: #16
Re: Jokes
Piet and Koos, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Piet turns to Koos and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college,and sign up for some classes."

Koos thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Piet goesdown to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Piet says. "What's that?"

The Dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the Dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to findout all ofthat because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Piet shakes the Dean's hand and leaves togo meet Koos at the bar. He tells Koos about his classes, how he issigned up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Koos says, "What's that?"

Piet says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a moffie."

2.6i Syncro Doka 1984
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2.5i Factory 5 Cylinder Syncro 1991
2.0i Cox Camper Syncro 1989
2.0i Big Window Syncro 1992
2.6i 2WD Doka 1986
1.9TDI Golf Syncro 1991

"If you dont think syncro's are cool, then you better check your pulse"
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05-17-2012, 09:49 PM
Post: #17
Re: Jokes
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

"Allways respect your environment, leave only your tracks and take only your memories"
1989 Syncro Caravelle 2.1 - BosBus
1998 Mercedes Benz C230 Kompressor Sport - PlatKar
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12-10-2012, 05:45 PM
Post: #18
Re: Jokes
some Quickies for you all

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in Grade 7.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.....

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time..'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiiit'.

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

I may be a mechanic, but i can't fix stupid
Bad planning on your part does not make your issue an crisis to me
Bad workmanship by other garages does not entiltle you to better rates at me
Syncro, syncro , syncro and more syncro, this is the syncro way of life
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12-11-2012, 01:31 PM
Post: #19
Re: Jokes
Hehe

You have the Bus, use it, enjoy nature!
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02-01-2013, 01:29 PM
Post: #20
Re: Jokes
The Real Biker?
A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the biker and asked, "Are you a real biker?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on Harleys. My momma was pregnant with me when she rode on the back of my Daddy's Harley, then as a little boy I rode on the back with my Daddy until I finally got my own Harley. I've been riding a Harley ever since. So yes, I guess I am a real biker."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women."
Then she got up and left.
The biker was thinking about what just happened when a man sat down next to the biker and asked, "Are you a real biker?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

I may be a mechanic, but i can't fix stupid
Bad planning on your part does not make your issue an crisis to me
Bad workmanship by other garages does not entiltle you to better rates at me
Syncro, syncro , syncro and more syncro, this is the syncro way of life
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
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